CELEBRATING 20 YEARS OF LOVE, RESILIENCE & PRIDE

When I reflect on Pride and what it means to me, my journey inevitably begins at age 18, stepping into the LGBTQIA community. Truthfully, it wasn't that I started out straight; the notion of being straight never resonated. I never had or wanted a boyfriend, nor did I even realize that "lesbian" was an option. All I knew was that female energy made me feel safe, seen, and vulnerable in ways that were profoundly comforting—an ironic revelation, considering the turbulent dynamics with women in my immediate family.

19yr old Celeste, Anthony Justice & Joan Jett at the 2000 GLAAD Awards

Arriving at Chapman University in California in 1999, I found more than a college experience—I discovered a safe haven to embrace myself fully, even though I was still figuring out exactly who "myself" was. For a brief period, I called myself a "soul seeker," perhaps similar to what we now call pansexual, though labels never fully captured my need for deep emotional connections before anything physical.

Navigating severe body dysmorphia, early relationships were fraught with insecurity and rejection. My first kiss, tender and life-changing, didn’t happen until I was 21, thanks to a best friend who intuitively knew I needed encouragement, not pressure. Gradually, life experiences began easing my insecurities, paving the path toward deeper relationships and a clearer understanding of love.

Then, in March 2005, fate intervened via a Sprint Phone User Chat—a charming woman named René Cosby offered me not just a job as a chiropractic receptionist but, unknowingly, a future filled with unconditional love and partnership. Our first date at Sunset Cliffs in San Diego on May 21, 2005, stretched all night until sunrise, and true to classic lesbian folklore, René arrived at our second date with her luggage and stayed—permanently. Over two decades later, we haven't spent a single night apart.

Two decades of life shared together isn't just significant; it’s transformative, enduring, and profoundly beautiful. To celebrate our milestone, we initially planned a short Las Vegas adventure, attending the dazzling Awakening Show at Wynn Theater—an extraordinary visual and sonic feast we thoroughly enjoyed. Yet, I knew our celebration needed more depth, more meaning, and a community gathering to reflect our journey authentically.

Returning home, I had secretly orchestrated a heartwarming surprise at Coomber Craft Wines in Oceanside. With help from beloved friends—Shannon Murphy, who provided a stunning bouquet featuring Black Calla Lilies, Tamara McDonald, who adorned tables with eucalyptus and succulents, and Pam Counts, who presented an exquisite charcuterie spread—the stage was set. Caron Cole, newly graduated as a practitioner from Seaside Center for Spiritual Living, officiated a ceremony capturing the soul of our love. Even our nephew, Elijah, who had once been our ring bearer as a child alongside our charismatic Eclectus Parrot, Oiseau, reprised his role with gentle nostalgia.

René was beautifully blindsided by the proposal (after a playful roasting about her assumption that I’d naturally become her wife and acknowledging her knees' inability to kneel!). Caron intuitively chose our cherished poem by Dr. Seuss, perfectly encapsulating our unique bond:

“We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” – Dr. Seuss

The joyous surprise of our vow renewal became even more poignant in the wake of Oceanside’s city council reversing its decision to fly the Progressive Pride flag. The abrupt and heartbreaking revote highlighted the painful reality that our love—despite its profound simplicity—is still considered controversial, political, and targeted by misunderstanding and hatred.

City Hall After First Decision To Raise Progressive Pride Flag with My LGBTQIA & Allies - Celebrating Our Win (before overturned)

Standing publicly in the council chambers, confronting overt bigotry and transphobia, deeply impacted me. Yet, choosing to renew our vows in front of our community just days after became my act of love-driven resistance—a bold affirmation of who we are and why our visibility remains essential.

In attendance were community leaders and friends who felt equally shaken by the city’s reversal. Their presence transformed our ceremony into more than a personal milestone—it became a collective renewal of hope, courage, and unwavering support. The event was a beacon of light for anyone still afraid or uncertain.

Two decades ago, I won the Ms. Gay Pride title representing the lesbian community by sharing what Pride means to me. My message then echoes now: Pride is showing up authentically and unapologetically, living and loving boldly without fear, guilt, or shame, and creating safe spaces for others to do the same.

Today, I celebrate my incredible wife René, our vibrant community, and the love that continues to uplift us all. Love fiercely, remain hopeful, and believe always that kindness and authenticity can indeed transform hearts.

Here’s to another 20 years of love, resilience, and Pride. - Celeste Barbier

PRIDE BY THE BEACH - June 7th 12pm-6pm FREE EVENT

Oceanside Pride By The Beach is an annual festival with over 20K people that attend annually with live music, dance, vendors & booths. (I will not be able to attend this year as I am booked for the Encinitas Wine & Food Festival)

Need additional support, have questions or want to get involved, volunteer or donate to the local LGBTQ Community during Pride Month and beyond? Please reach out or visit the brand-new North County LGBTQIA Resource Center off Oceanside Blvd.